2013 is going to be a great year!

Hey everyone!!

I GOT A PLACE ON FUTURE STARS 2013!!!!

This weekend has been a very good one indeed. As it says above (and in pink), I won a place in the competition I talked about in my last blog and couldn't be happier. I was so convinced it wouldn't happen - I even dreamt that I didn't get it on Friday night so I had subconsciously prepared myself for the worst. When I woke up, I was in a bit of a crappy mood and as is the norm, I reached over to check my phone. As I was scrolling though tweets, facebooks and emails, I was saying to Harry "I know I haven't got it, but it's ok, it's ok. Something will come up, I'm sure..." and that's when I saw the email from Miranda telling me I'd won a place. In the following order, I screamed, burst into tears, rugby tackled H and laughed like a madwoman.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited for what 2013 is going to bring me. The last few weeks were getting me down massively because I haven't worked for a while, nor have any auditions come my way and this time last year, I was having the best time of my professional career doing Bloody Poetry. I think about doing that play and it aches that I'm not doing it now. The kind of chemistry that job produced was very rare and will be hard to replicate many more times in my career. So the fact that I've got Future Stars to throw myself into is so exciting and something for me to pour a creative outlet in to and I can't wait.

I'll be b/vlogging about everything, so I hope you'll join me on what promises to be an awesome year! 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Eleven O' Clock News

Hi everyone :)

Thought it was about time for another blog. There's nothing major to update you with - no acting jobs to speak of or anything - but generally wanted to say hello :)

Actually, I do have a bit of "news"... I am going to enter a competition for writing, which I am really excited about. I've been writing for years, I remember writing my first short story when I was 11 and taking inspiration from the film Beaches - it was about 2 best friends who went to Secondary School together and were best friends forever - one of them became a famous actress, the other a doctor and then the actress developed a rare disease and kind of, well, died and the doctor friend (as she was appointed godmother) then took care of her actress friend's child... Actually, it was a complete rip-off of Beaches but with a West London take on it..... 
   The kind of stories I like to write could be deemed chick-lit but that's fine with me because it's what I like to read and it's obviously a hugely popular genre. I love writing about people falling in and out of love, having a close group of friends, laughing, crying, general madness that sometimes involves cake and shopping - and that for me is chick-lit and I don't apologise for it because to those who have a problem with it, well, they don't have to buy it, do they?
   So the competition is being organised and run by one of my favourite authors Miranda Dickinson (get following on Twitter @wurdsmyth) and it involves mentoring sessions with Miranda herself, meetings with literary agents and publishers, guidance and help etc.. It all sounds incredible and something I would kill to be part of so am v excited about that. Gives me a little buzz whenever I think about it; such a wonderful opportunity. It might sound a bit trite but there is nothing I like better than setting my laptop on my knee and letting my hands fly over the keyboard creating characters and stories for people to read. I say people, my mum and H are the two who have read anything and they like it (but then that could be bias!).
   For me, it's on a par with being in a rehearsal room creating a character from a script. Hugely enjoyable and something I like to think I'm quite good at. Quite good at, but always learning, always gaining. 
   I've got a few ideas at the moment and have started writing a novel which for the first time in a really long time, I feel has some merit to it. The thing is, I start to write things and then get lost in too many ideas and abandon. But this time, I feel really good about it and think it might be the idea I'll use when I submit my application. However, it's quite a convoluted story and if someone were to ask me how I'd like to end it, I'd have to reply with an honest "I've no idea yet!". 

Anywho.... That's all I wanted to say really. So that is my first plan for 2013. I'll keep you updated on how it goes!

Em xxx

Dipping my toe back in

So!

To introduce myself back into the acting world, I helped a casting director friend out the other week with a new drama that I believe will be shown in 2014. I don't know if I'm allowed to say what it is so to be safe, I'm keeping schtum about what it was.

However, the morning itself was so much fun! Basically, it was a recall for 2 actors (though thankfully not for the same part #awks) and I was reading for them so they had someone to bounce off in their audition. Initially I thought it would be like any normal audition situation - the actor walks into a room where people are sat behind a desk and reads and then leaves. 

Was it like that??

Nooooo.

Instead, I found myself mime-sword fighting - thanks JH for my stage combat certificate, it finally came in handy! Mime-sword fighting whilst trying to play lines in a way that doesn't fuck up the actor you're playing against - it is their audition after all. Thankfully though, I've always been able to soak up lines like a sponge (provided there aren't shedloads) and so was able to flail my arm about in a what I hoped looked like a cool, professional sword-wielding way. 
Both actors auditioning were simply lovely and I was reminded what it was like being in a rehearsal room and that was rather thrilling!

The whole time we were doing these scenes, we were being filmed by the director, which I found unnerving and a new experience. But on reflection, I suppose it was a good one because now I'm prepared if it ever happens again!

In one scene (and there were many), myself and the other actor were playing ex-lovers and had to have a proper fight (whilst trying to stab eachother with swords) and by the end of it, we were screaming at eachother; when the director yelled "Cut!", we were both panting and my hands were shaking, which took me right back to rehearsing Antigone at the National earlier this year. I remember shaking when we finished a scene I had been shouting so much (saying that, that could have been the fact that it was the day after Press Night so...).

Anyway! Little blog about my first little venture back into the wild...

xxx

Glad I had the time out but...

Well, hello!

It has been a while, hasn't it?

I have decided to write this blog because there have been a change recently and I wanted to write about it. Firstly, after taking time off from having anything to do with acting, I have had a rethink and decided that my life without acting is like a world without Channing Tatum - meaningless. At the time, I was so convinced that taking an indefinite "break" was exactly what I wanted to but over time, I found myself cracking a bit.

For instance, I'd be watching a TV drama and break down because I'd realise that with my new decision, that was never going to me; or I'd go and see a show and not be able to switch off thinking how I would have played the character - and then I'd cry afterwards because I knew that I'd never get to work on a script again. I know this all sounds horribly wanky but there ya go. And of course, it all got taken out on poor H!

So... A few weeks ago, I met with my agent and we had a lengthy chat about what we were going to do in 2013 - an action plan, if you will. And whilst no one knows if any of it will come to fruition, it's a plan and that's something I didn't have a few months ago.

So, as of January 1st 2013, I am officially back to being an actress who does some odd jobs on the side and to anyone who might find my flaky, well, find me an actor that's not. However, I will say that if I find myself taking a "break" a second time, that will definitely be it for me. So here goes.

Happy New Year!

Some slightly strange news

Hi guys,

I realise it's been ages since  posted & I apologise for that.

I've got some news that I wanted to share with you on here because it's quite important (to me anyway). I've decided to take a break from acting, and I don't know if that's an indefinite break or just a long one, but it's a break nonetheless.

This is for many reasons, some of which I won't bore you with, but some I will. First and foremost, I have not long ago moved out of mum and Damian's house and set up home with my lovely "H". Rent is not exactly cheap, but it's doable, providing I have a steady income every month. This is, of course, not guaranteed when it comes to acting (or performing in any way I suppose) and being able to make rent, pay bills and not having to rely on H for everything is important to me and I'm not working nearly enough to be able to do that. And it dawned on me not long ago, that if in a few years' time, I'm still working as sporadically as I am, I can't really afford to have a family - not comfortably anyway - and that's something else that is incredibly important to me. Going out socially, be it to the cinema, theatre, for dinner etc., also became difficult because of a lack of income, and that was no life for me. I want to enjoy life because it's too short and scrimping and saving every last penny for the foreseeable future just didn't seem an enjoyable prospect. So that's the financial aspect of things.

Secondly, my weight. I am by no means a "fat" girl, whatever "fat" means. I am curvy and proud of those curves. My grandmother and mother are curvy so it's genetic and I love it. Weight is so heavily focused on in this industry, it makes me shake with rage sometimes. I've never been told to lose weight by anyone in the industry, but a lot of times when I've lost out to parts, it's almost always been to a very slim, size 8 girl. Now, I am in no way saying she doesn't have the talent as well as the figure, but after so many rejections in favour of someone two dress sizes smaller, one can't help but draw comparisons in appearance. I eat healthily, I go to the gym as often as poss, but I also like my carbs and won't give up spaghetti bolognaise for anyone. Too many girls who I know, who aren't naturally a size 6/8 are practically starving themselves for a part, and if they come out for dinner, they pick at a side salad. That's no way to live as far as I'm concerned. I'm not saying this is the case for every casting director, that they look for the slimmest talented girl, but it's certainly more often than not the case. And I can tell you, that if anyone told me to lose weight in an audition, I'd be out of there quicker than you could say Mr Kipling.

Thirdly, possibly the wankiest of reasons, but one that I know is a sticking point with a lot of actors. The sanctity of this business is non existent, I feel. It used to be that you had to join Equity and become a member of that union before being able to act either on TV or on stage - this is how I understand it from my mum and dad, as it's what they had to do. I trained at drama school - it was the most difficult 3 years of my life and I don't regret them, but they were fucking hard and I will take on anyone who says drama school is a doss. too many kids do GCSE drama, thinking it's a breeze then drop out because they realise it's not. Or at least it wasn't "in my day", waaaaaaaaay back in 2004 ;) Now, it seems anyone can become an actor. With no training, no credentials, and NO TALENT. It's so easy for a celeb to get into acting (as yes, it is for an actor to get into "celebing", something I also don't agree with). Take Chris Moyles playing Herod in The Lord's JCS tour. I'm not a huge CM fan but I've nothing against the guy personally. I don't know him after all. However, I take massive umbrage that he - a former Radio 1 DJ - is playing a hugely coveted role as far as musical theatre actors are concerned. And all because he's Chris Moyles. I haven't seen it, and I don't intend to, but I doubt he would have been cast if he was bad, so I'm sure he was good. However, there are thousands of men who have trained and worked their bollocks off working their way up from being background dancers & chorus members etc., who would chop off any limb asked to play that part. The same goes for Mel C playing Mary Magdalene & Tim Minchin playing Judas. To put it simply, it's plain unfair. I have also recently heard plans for a TOWIE movie. I admit, I watch the odd episode of TOWIE, but mainly because it's a bit of badly done crap to take my mind off anything and everything that went on in the day. Now they're making a cocking movie?!?!?!?!?! I genuinely couldn't believe my ears when I heard and it just shows the new levels people gave have sunk to to make money.
Now, before you all start jumping down my throat and saying "oh but you watch X Factor and indulge in and tweet about that" blahdeblah. Yes, I do. Again, for the same reasons as TOWIE. It's a bit of wind down time and if I missed it if I were out for the night, no biggie. Also, most of my tweets are angry re. the X Factor because it's so shite, so maybe I will stop watching it...

I don't want anyone to think I'm "picking" on the JCS cast or anything, but these are just a couple of examples. Lily Cole might be a decent actress but she's a fucking model and I can almost guarantee you she got seen as soon as her agent suggested her for the role to the CD's.
There is also the thing of placing your career and life in someone else's hands, something which I am entirely uncomfortable with. Constantly walking in to auditions with a big smile on my face and being overly nice to people I've never met before (even if they treat me with complete indifference, which has happened on numerous occasions) and all to get a part that is weeny, in something not great for not a lot of money. It's a shit existence if you're the bottom of the pile. It really is. So anyone considering being an actor, I say, grow a pair before entering in to it. A big pair. And waiting for the phone to ring and constantly checking your emails after an audition can turn you into a seriously dull individual. The Twitter crap I get isn't much fun either. On the flip side, it can be an incredibly rewarding and fun job to do. I've made a dream come true by performing a lead role on the Olivier stage at the National Theatre, which was a trip and so much fun. I'm not slating it as a whole, really, I am grateful for the chances I've been given, and I mean that sincerely.

So, there you have it, I'm taking some time out - how long for I'm not sure yet. If I do decide to leave that side of the business, I would absolutely look in to another side of it (ie. agent, casting director), but that's totally up in the air right now. At the mo, I'm doing a couple of normal jobs, running around like a blue-arsed fly and generally leading a normal existence for a while, which is nice.

Anyway, thanks for reading darling ones. Just wanted to explain to avoid the future "what are you working on now?" questions.

Loads love xxxxxx

Press Night down!!

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!


I seriously can't believe I haven't blogged since the second week of rehearsals. I have been so ridiculously busy with rehearsals that I just haven't really had the time to sit down and write a proper blog (the beautiful weather didn't exactly help my cause).


Anyway, as you might have guessed from the title, we have leaped over the Press Night hurdle at long last! Can't quite believe it but we did it. The really scary part for the guys is out of the way and now, as far as the understudies are concerned, the real work starts. so while Jodie and Chris et al are taking well-deserved lie in, we are in the theatre bright and early ready to get cracking with understudy rehearsals. I cannot wait! 


Miraculously, we're on the Olivier Stage first thing today, which is fantastic, as ordinarily we would be in a rehearsal room so we're very lucky!
I'm rather proud of myself actually, because as last night was Press Night, I could easily have gone down the route of getting absolutely hammered and then turning up this morning looking grey and in need of a fry up! However, I only had 2 beers and spent the evening chatting with friends, my agent, the cast and some industry people. H came, naturally and my best friend. It was so, so lovely to have their support on such a big night. They were, typically, the first people I saw when I came on stage. My first entrance is while the audience is still piling in and so the house lights are still up. I had to tear my eyes away from them, suppress the urge to wave and go "Look! I'm on the Olivier!" and remember I'm a consummate professional! 


Well I shall blog a bit later today as now that I have a fair amount to do in terms of rehearsal, there'll be lots to say!


Until then xxxx 

A rather quiet Tuesday :)

Evenin' tweeple!

There isn't a great deal to blog about today because unfortunately, our understudy read through got cancelled, which was quite frustrating, but what are you gonna do?!

Instead, the guys worked on a scene whereby Creon (Chris) announces he is to take over the throne of Thebes as the previous King (his nephew) died in battle. They worked on it for a good 3 hours - broken up by lunch - and at the end it looked really, really good, so was well worth missing the read through for to get that result.

Instead, we're going to do some work on it tomorrow with Drew, the Associate Director, and I'm really excited about that. Due to the fact that it's only Jo and I who are called (2.30pm - 4pm - lovely!), it won't be a read through, except maybe our scenes. So I'm really looking forward to find out what else we'll be doing. 

What the others have been doing in their rehearsals with Polly, is "actioning". This is scoring the text with a transitive verb for each line. For instance, one of my lines as Antigone is:

"Don't be frightened for me, fear for yourself."

If I were to action this line, it would be "I override you", or something similar to that. It's really useful for some actors; I for one find it quite difficult, but then I haven't actually done it since I was at drama school in 2008. I didn't have the best experience, but I'm sure being at the National will be a whole new experience actioning-wise, and I'm well up for it!

Anyway chaps, must dash! Speak tmrw :) xxx